How Many - Deja Vu?

I thought I would get ahead of the game. Everybody tells me that the Avian Flu pandemic is a matter of when and not if. Some time ago those that carve the stone tablets sent me a sample "Flu Pandemic Information Pack" containing a range of publications. Some were aimed at clinicians, some for patients, and there were nice big posters inviting patients to "ask for further information". Well, thinks I, since I have 14,000 patients and a "churn" of 20% in our transient community, I'd better ask for 5,000 of the patient stuff and enough of the clinical stuff for our fifteen health care professionals (a new Labour phrase that always leaves me wondering who are the health care amateurs?).

On to the NHS order line.

I want 5,000 of these please.
maximum order is 1,000.

I want 15 of these please.
maximum order is 2.

I want some of these and some of these
both out of stock. contact us at a later date.

The "how to communicate effectively about the pandemic " recommendation is to "let the patients know early". Someone, somewhere is Healthquarters is sitting back thinking that they have got the information flowing. I think the word trickle might suit?

I'd swap a tonne of management

It is fashionable to complain that the NHS has spent much of the extra funding provided over the past few years on recruiting loads of managers. Like most "well know facts" there is some truth in it. I should know since I am one of 'em. Irrespective of the 'new vs old' chestnut, one feature of most NHS management that does get me down is how little leadership they provide. It is a difficult time in the NHS. This government says it is transforming the way everything works through its major Payment by Results and Practice-based Commissioning programmes. There is a veritable avalanche of new stone tablets coming down from the Department of Health mountain. Changes and budget restrictions, new ways of working, breaking down established pathways from primary to secondary care; all these challenge staff at every level. It all cries out for positive leadership; someone who can inspire the team to rise to these challenges and achieve these ambitious goals.

From my lowly position, I can see none. I don't mean "not much" or "not enough". I mean NONE.

I'd settle for a few kilos of real leadership. Oh, I get lots of memos. I get loads of papers (usually cut and paste jobs from a DoH circular). I get deadlines and funding floors. I suppose I ought to feel pleased to be consulted (usually about how I feel about a decision that has already been made) and yet I'm not. Instead I feel that those that should be inspiring, motivating and making it happen, are behaving like any dictator worth his salt. They're hidden away down in the bunker sending out orders with no real idea what their troops are doing or if they're succeeding or not.

One thing's for sure; if we get it wrong, it won't be their fault. After all - they didn't get involved.

No it isn't difficult. It's simple.

Gaby Hinsliff is a journalist on The Observer (a UK Sunday newspaper). She was told to ring her hospital to arrange an appointment to see a consultant. Read how she got on here.

Don't think that this is unusual because it isn't. Whenever I challenge our local hospitals over their appointment booking telephone facilities (from the latin facile which means "easily, without difficulty") they patiently explain that it is very complicated and they receive lots of calls and they're awfully busy. It is delivered as though it explains why the service is so awful. Well actually Mr ever -so-patronising hospital grandee, it isn't difficult at all.

Lots of calls is lots of demand.
Lots of waiting equals no supply.
You're in charge of supply so do some.

If you don't know how, then get yourself a clipboard and (a) count the calls; (b) measure the average call duration and divide (a) by (b). Tweak the number for holidays and assumed sick leave and abracadabra. This is how many people you need answering the phones at any one time.